Promos fooled me once again, and this time I fell victim to a Don. I am surprised how an innovative movie director like Farhan Akhtar can embrace stupidity in a matter of two films. Without battering an eyelid, I proclaim that Don is a stupid movie with a horrible script, mindless casting, confused director, etc, etc…the list is endless. So to say, SRK looks like Don’s secretary for the entire 180 minutes. At least, I would like to see a Suniel Shetty or a Sanjay Dutt as a Don, but never SRK. Thankfully for Farhan and his producer, it looks like the entire movie was financed by the Malaysian government with almost 95% of the movie shot in ‘Truly Asia’ country. The only saving grace is Priyanka Chopra. Unlike other Bollywood newbies, Priyanka is getting better by each movie in terms of acting. Good for her. Kareena, like always, looks out of place. What’s next, Farhan?

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother are captured by baddies and they tie Balakrishna to a chair…those idiots didn’t know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair…

Here is our hero’s brother…the baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach…the bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls….

Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor…this means that the baddies had a gun…but they decided to use a time-bomb to give the ‘finishing touch’…this is what I call ‘innovative thinking’…

The shells triggered Balakrishna’s brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea…He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells…

Now, lets have a look at the time-bomb…the timer (presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking…see the weird buttons on the bomb??…the red button is the On-Off button!!…Now, this is the world’s first time-bomb with such a convenient on-off button…this is what I call a ‘user-friendly time-bomb’…very easy to handle…can be used even by infants…

Coming back to our hero…he is struggling to reach the shells…look at his expression!

Finally, he manages to reach the shells…he picks up a shell with his mouth…the viewers have no idea what the hell he is up to…read on…

He concentrates with the shell between his teeth…look at the sweat on his face…gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating…with all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb…

Lo and behold! The shell flies like a bullet through the air…credit goes to Balakrishna here…he has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet…he can be a good asset to the Indian army…The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the red button!!…the time-bomb gets switched off!!…Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!

That’s it friends…Balakrishna has proved that he is better than our Olympics medal winner, Major R. S. Rathore….he has even shocked Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi who were thought to be pioneers in such things…the latest buzz is that R. S. Rathore, Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi have started training under Balakrishna…hats off to Balakrishna!

It’s official. Rang De Basanti will represent India in Oscars. After Lagaan, this time around we have a good chance of winning the coveted trophy. Except for its idiotic end, everything else is superb in Rang De.

With master lobbyists like Laxmi Mittal around, we can definitely hope for some good news in March next year. Meanwhile, I am wondering how Jeans made it to Oscars way back in 1998. Quite Ash-tonishing!

Stressed out? Wanting to have a hearty laugh? The remedy is here — watch Lage Raho Munnabhai. Yesterday night we went to Ruwi cinema for the 9pm show, and believe me, I didn’t check my watch even for once from 9pm till 11.30pm. I thoroughly enjoyed the film, which I would say will go on to create history in 2006. Lage Raho Munnabhai is a combination of a simple script, great acting, lovely screenplay and huge doses of decent comedy.

Sanjay Dutt is simply outstanding, and so are Arshad Warsi and Boman Irani. Vidya Balan looks impressive in whatever little she had to do. Having watched Munna Bhai MBBS almost half-a-dozen times, I’ve become a great fan of director Rajkumar Hirani. May his tribe increase.